nulla dies sine linea the "Between Her Dragon Eyes" album (aka Depression Feels Like This) written by wolfram of she always dies begun quietly as a midsummer shooting star after Firefur, louder than a silent august rain after Nightfur to reach the vast acres across the woodlands of Bloodfur (...and to make some open space for the total mayhem of Magicfur!) finished her in october 24th, 999 total number of moons in the making: three... or six and two thirds "She slowly, caressingly, strokes along your chin with her left index finger claw, a shiny, black, delicate, deadly sharp, claw. Suddenly, she jerks upwards, you feel the tip of her claw swiftly, with no real effort, penetrate your skin, digging deeply in as the tip of her furred finger reach your severed flesh even before the first trickle of your blood colours her finger red...she gasps unwillingly, enjoying the sight of your life-giving blood washing her fur. You almost twitch at the pain, just making the steadily held claw tear a wider gash in your flesh while her beautiful eyes lock to yours." (a quote) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 Blood Worn Asunder [The rain starts on a misty, rocky coast by night] Tiger, tiger, burning furled fire (Like a burning flame in the nightshade forest) Tiger's necessities no longer tie her Though a wolf I myself called All these seasons it was a tiger me enthralled The brittle cat that was my cruelty back then I wonder will I dream of her ever... again (An end is nigh) Psycho feelings offer me the life I once dreamt, a cattish, brindled Death with blood and fur and knife I could take Her tousled fur and put it on, see through her draconic eyes and wear the aloofness part of her blood An end is night Grey I am, and wolfish too but my name is closest to you Like you, I do masturbate on graves, (and would taste the mould if I were a she) and draw figures often lethargic and strange An End by Night I don't fight with mundanes I just rape and kill the females I continue her oneiric story Manu propria In my own way, with no conjunct blood for glory I will end my nights maybe sooner I should, maybe even without felid delights as with such pleasures I could drag myself further and tragedies of irony and of disorder always tether (Trees don't grasp back, no matter how blood-worn I am I still need a fresh flesh to meet my fangs) "I Will. I am Plague and Angel is my bloodmate?" [background, nearly black text on black: "Tigris don't cry"] [May - (July, 999)] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2 A Girl of a Thousand Stories (Every one of them Untold) i. Lumikuutamo Dreams of better dreams... for her to come Widetrees' fallen frost touches her ochre fingers, alone For a hundred lone wintry nights she dreams as one Caress of those cold hands with her lips makes her moan And feel little death in her whole life in the escaped sun What must she do to feel little hope from her fetid groan? ii. Syksyllinen mustanvihreyttä Without setting anything alight, for seventeen autumns she wandered without "destiny" Like a funereal killer who could have given life Finally she gave it to me Were all the autumns there or not For a hundred stories of her they hide iii. ...vain eläinsatuja For fatal sex she craved A sweet young thing, proud of her dreams As frost (upon each other we would've lain) to maliciously enter realm of felid indecencies In one hundred ways she fell One hundred more only in her depraved fantasies iv. Punahiuksisen noidan apoteoosi (ja kylmää auringonvaloa) She doesn't need Winter to colden the ground in where she some evening wanted to be buried (alive) And hinder a "crime"... Losers are the living, rufous as love and hat-red together, as winter's sky's lurid She impersonates death of mine, fathomlessly expressed (For Death is a goddess) Tens of suicides, hundreds of murders performed as plays With Death deificated, life always... sways v. Veriturkki I became a lover of blood A lover of sex as forestal art Wolf as my cloak, cat by my side Until the fur broke and my cat seemingly died That's one story for her and one story with me and a nightful of little wishes in the light of a Full Moon of 'why this way it cannot be?' vi. Syksy ... ja Hän sitä kaikkea katselemassa kauniilla, _ vihreillä _ silmillään [A moment for finding those once lost tools again and seeking for a moment under a red tree in an autumn mourning] They said the feeling of new blood would age as enough turns of seasons pass It didn't for us vii. Mutta sellaista tämä on... She was my first wish and she had to wend Conservative forests once asked us as owls in phlegmatic revelry until they got it the way "Of course she's my friend, (For me and my inspiration her every eve is portent) why else would she want to kill me?" Many sweet uses did her long claws have. As did long hair... But elegy and ecstasy... She left me only a thousand untold Stories as an unchangeable gift, poor and broken Everything's made wretched, but this is how it is. [May - (August, 999)] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3 An Autumn Elegy Last autumn, one night we were sitting on a human-made jetty drinking a clear brook-fresh water with some leaves in it just talking (of nothing) for fun, and that we indeed had And yet, we were sad We had each other and knew it well We laughed in the silent air Enjoyed the fact that of each other we did care And still, at that night, so sad, so sad we were... She was pleasure that could wrap around me I could have killed for her (and i did) I could have raped for her (which i did also) I could've raped her and i did that too and i could have died for her, and there i earthly failed (her, which reminds me of a daintly story that that autumn still stood) Now it is an incondite autumn again, and she's reminding me of Her I almost believe there's dream magic in the sea (although i know why it would there lie) The lovelorn autumn to-eve almost seems to wait for her (, for nothing) Fur nothing. She was too long time alone in the beginning and so am i now in the end Her memory in me feels now like a in autumn water drawn crescent Though i can maybe never forget her as a creature, i am already beginning to forget her as a person, in everyway but pleasure and pleasure of torture Like autumn has missed her funeral, and still, for nothing, cares on... Last autumn, one eve we were romping on a little lake of cones, of acorns and of oak leaves, wrestling in each other's furs And though we had fun and for that indeed came all our moans a grievous occassion followed and that very same moment of autumn this day now returns Not very far from here i am going to wait Almost ten full lukewarm moons too long i've already "lived" without a mate Today's ponceau autumn should ultimately make me understand the sorrow for one... is too great Autumn can weep though uni-verse is insane and insanely insensate Soon there's nothing left for Despair to liberatedly eviscerate Or could it just be my sense of love that is so damn insatiate ?? ... [rage leaves] Soon there's no even enough power to hate Autumn should at least make me Her shade so i could, just like Her,.. vaporate Last autumn, one day we were holding each other in the heights of an ancient oak Planning our tale into mutual suicide in ways that made us stoke And in Winter, when She became one with the snow, never to wear blood again, I awoke. [August - (September, 999)] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4 Desires In Costumes Partially in wolf's outfit as a neophyte ghost I've whirled through the last assailings of mine The Wolfsuit I bury into the ground growing frost To evolve my personality to correspond to feline It isn't that I was tumultuous or changing I'm just more honest in my desire to act as one, one of the felids I was even turns ago facing Not knowing that one night one of them would begin to kill me as a hu-man At first she took me as a wolf for it was furries she craved and dead-tired of dead-loving she was and still so young She begun to be not only my love- and life- but also bloodmate At this point she stopped believing in hu-man lies of Satan *whimper* Or then all this cat zoot stuff points to mere transvestism Even if I don't physically transform in harangue (as a little were-creature in his damn) Consuming nubile human females could be far enough from cannibalism to put it some way.... I still know not who I am But under the mask it doesn't really matter Does it? To my fur as far as no one's clung, no needed are raw clinches that made it shatter I might be alone, but I can plunge And by this story no one's mind has to be wrung For even a man who is a puma in mind And writes his cattish stories each night May become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms And the winter moon is brimed ...when completely covered in snow are the woods (a second story,) Second time [September - (October, 999)] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5 Entr'acte - Towards the PantherCon ' I sometimes regret getting up in the morning... regret being nice to people and letting them walk all over me... regret being rotten to the people who really didn't deserve it.... and regret ignoring myself and my interests for so long in some stupid attempt to be "normal". ' [quote] (October, 999) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6 Love's Labour Leopardized Millenniums may pass, for us they're worthless We two can't ever reach times of Bellum omnium in (contra) omnes The way of a world a tiger has told The world that would have our undisguised love We do pass, for millenniums we're worthless It's true oceans are deeper, mountains higher than any depression or joy we've witnessed Claiming otherwise... would be talk of a liar Anyhow, She was all to me in my desire The wereside of a wolf isn't always ancient or mythical So many times it has just been mythicized to let it live free... But how can one live (free or not) and at the same time recall There've been times he wasn't one during all his eves Aeons may pass, little lifeforms for the world are meaningless Still, without giving up all hope, as a lie Kneelingly on a rock of the world I ask "Are you sure you don't want to die?" And after the grass below the pale leaves is frozen by the nightcold As I've got no thick, bushy fur to hold, I content with "Death's" brindled knife and my own life And wonder if there's someone hiding who'd enfold.... But I have no beliefs of almost any kind I let myself fall to the ground... and lie Down Without Her I'm alone in the darkness Without Fur I feel, as to aeons, meaningless And then, over the dead leaves I find myself asking "Do I want to die?" Oh yes (October, 999) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7 The Cat Who Once Owned Me " If you're willing to respect that which you don't understand Then come take my paw and I'll take your hand. " [quote] Being a weasel or son of a bitch Something that for iniquitous mundanes can't exist Being a skunk, a worm, a shaggy furball Almost every eve (it should be) of yarfing, howling, kinda rock and troll For hyoomans I feel just strange hate For other furries even stranger love And that keeps up my restive will to create Spoogeys more furry... suicides more raw Don't play with tired tigers (at least with those for whom you have your stories written) Unless you like being raped, scratched and bitten You don't since you don't dream (Paramours, Thrill me.) As I can't have her, I wanted to be Like the cat who brought me cruelty The cat who once owned me Being a vixen or a wolf in man Something that makes us so much closer to ones who we respect... and understand (October, 999) Now: dream... -----------------------------------------------------------------------------